real genius


*An honest answer is the sign of true friendship. Proverbs 24:26

*No such thing as a man willing to be honest -- that would be like a blind man willing to see. F. Scott Fitzgerald

*No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true. Nathaniel Hawthorne

Honesty is such a lonely word. I'm about to give it some company. I'm usually found catching up on what my DVR has trapped over dinner. However, my selections didn't fit my mood, so my fingers were off and running on the remote. I came across one of the latest game shows "The Moment Of Truth".

*The description:

THE MOMENT OF TRUTH will put participants to the test -- the lie detector test -- to reveal whether or not they are telling the truth for a chance to win half a million dollars.

On THE MOMENT OF TRUTH, the challenge is simple -- answer 21 increasingly personal questions honestly, as determined by a polygraph, and win up to $500,000. This is the only game show where participants know both the questions and the answers before they begin to play. Prior to playing, participants are strapped to a lie detector and asked a series of questions by a polygraph expert, who records their answers. At any time, between the polygraph and the televised game, participants can change their answers or walk away from the competition.
To win $500,000 participants have to tell the truth. Of course, the questions are easier when the stakes are low – but as the prize amount increases, they will be challenged to fess up to matters they might normally lie about. The touchier questions could be especially revealing because participants reveal their answers in front of spouses, relatives and friends, hanging on every word. What deep dark secret will someone divulge for hundreds of thousands of dollars?
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH is being produced in 23 other countries, including Spain, Brazil, Germany, France, Italy and the United Kingdom.

*The episode I was subjected to involved a mother in her early 30's as the contestant. The participants were her mother, brother and husband. She decided to safely walk away with 100,000 dollars. However, she unsafely walked away with her mother close to a nervous breakdown, her husband aware that she fantasizes about sleeping with a coworker, and all of America knowing she'd rob a bank if she'd never get caught.

A. Is the money worth the pain, embarrassment and resentment they carry off stage with them?
B. Is there such a thing as being "too honest"?

I noticed most questions were prefaced by the contestant with excuses and grey matter. In other words, does honesty always involve a black and white response of simply yes or no?

*True, this show is another "It’s a Trainwreck and I can’t look away"...but it's just so so ugly. Being the fact that in today's society relationships have already become as difficult as they have for a plethora of reasons, do we really need to rub more salt in the wound??

Please don't get me wrong. I'm a HUGE advocate of honesty. However, at times there's just simply such a floss thin fine line as to what's necessary helpful honesty and what's unnecessary hurtful honesty.

For example: Could you go around for an entire week and completely tell the truth...NO MATTER WHO crossed your path?

Liar Liar

Also, how many friends do you have in which you can really "honestly" be yourself 100 percent of the time?

*I have 3 friends. Yes, that's it. 3. Maybe that's higher than some? I'm not sure.
How did they make the final cut? Well, I can be up, down, over and under. I can be hot, cold or luke warm. In other words WHATEVER mood I'm in I know they will love me unconditionally. I can totally say what's on my mind. They don't hold grudges. They're there when the party is over. They're also there at 4am if I call them crying over a guy drunk. I could tell them my deepest and darkest secret or regret and they will always be "honest" but never "chastising". Lastly, in return I can be all of these things to them.

*Bottom line: Honesty is still the best policy. However, use it wisely my friend.

Gyllenhaal/Happy Endings

Make em laugh...I'm serious.

*Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. ~Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts," Saturday Night Live

*The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~E.E. Cummings

*Laughter is an instant vacation. ~Milton Berle

I've recently been acknowledging the importance of laughter in my own life. I just can't possibly stress the anti stress necessity of it. Use it, know it, live it, learn it, love it, remember it, own it, and attempt to gain it on a daily basis! I'm being stone cold serious people...oh wait. I recently read an excerpt in a chapter of "The Secret" about Norman Cousins that was so inspirational:

*Norman had been diagnosed with an "incurable" disease. The doctor's told him he had just a few months to live. Norman decided to heal himself. For three months all he did was watch funny movies and laugh, laugh, laugh. The disease left his body in those three months, and the doctors proclaimed his recovery a miracle.

Whether it be coincidence, mind over matter, the laughter or a combination of these things...I believe that laughter most definitely played a positive role. Here's a great link to 3 sites explaining this and much more:

*Can you personally ALWAYS control your laughter? Have you or anyone you've known laughed at the most inappropriate time(s)?? Here's an example:

I remember being in 6th grade. I sat next to my best friend April. It never failed. One of us would just look at the other one and start laughing. It seemed as if the more we attempted to stop, the more we laughed. We even got sent out of the classroom once or twice just for laughing! Come to think of it...I really miss those days, when something like that was the most crucial thing to worry about;)

**I could be having the worst day. One joke, funny memory with a friend, or movie line and my entire day suddenly transforms into being brighter than the sun.

Let us move onto the subject of clowns, which ARE supposed to be funny:

Whether it be this:

(That's actually Tim Curry by the way!)

Or this:


Now let's move onto the subject of characters which AREN'T supposed to be funny:

Whether it be this:



Or this:



Bottom Line: More laughter please.


Where are you?

**"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything."~anonymous

*When it comes to the issue of helping others, I believe there are primarily 2 types of people:

1. Those who selflessly act strictly to benefit the person or people.
2. Those who do things for the sole purpose of gaining attention or recognition for themselves.

Though I'm not close to perfect, I attempt to push myself into category 1. on a daily basis. Please, don't misunderstand me. I'm not claiming a person should never receive accolades for their gracious act(s) of kindness. I'm all for giving applause where it's due. I'm simply stating, don't give to/do for another strictly based on bragging rights around the water cooler. Humble meshes with confidence much better than arrogance.

***I had already written the above earlier when I had a phone conversation with a friend...While we were talking, the subject of people living based solely on the need to impress others came up. I feel this ties into the issue mentioned above. It is true there ARE times when one should care what another thinks:

An example of a positive: I've hurt my brother's feelings.

An example of a negative: I bought the new Hermes Birkin bag even though I can't afford it, because my neighbor Mrs. Jones has one. Yadda yadda most likely know what I'm getting at.

I can tell you that I've been on several sides of things financially. I've also always been an eclectically multifaceted girl...which means I've gotten along with several different types of people. When they tell you money can't buy class...believe me(cliches are cliches because they usually hold a staggering amount of truth within them.) It's true that there are good and bad/false and true people EVERYWHERE you go. I will always attempt to grow, mature and evolve into a better person...However, I will also always stay true to who I am at the deepest part of my heart and soul.

*Notting Hill quote moment: Anna Scott: After all... I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

Aren't some of the most poignant moments found in the most raw simplistic of things?

I've really been into old movies lately. It's true at times they can be dated. Yet there are those timeless gems. I've been feeling so overly stimulated, pushed and pulled in so many directions...all of this can make a girl feel burnt out! With so many options, how is one supposed to make a decision or truly know who they are/what they want?! These movies have allowed me to see as well as remember what it's like to gain some calm simplicity...tranquility if you will. Don't get me wrong. I've never been a simple girl in my tastes, goals, hobbies, etc. I just feel as if things are becoming too muddied and complicated out there.


February's Fabulous Friday.

**"Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it". Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.**

Well due to Cleveland weather, Melinda and I didn't actually make it to Leap Night;( However, we had a great time regardless. We started off at Velvet Tango Room. The owner informed Mel that he's chosen a photo with her to be published with Condé Nast Publications nationally. He then hooked us up with a tester martini to get our rating. It was a frothy dark cherry concoction. It's due to hit the menu in a few weeks. I thought an appropriate name for it would be "Frosty's Melted". Not that I want Frosty to melt per se...just relocate along with the slush. We then met the owner's girlfriend and this guy Roy. The girlfriend informed me that she was heading down to my hometown of Naples,Fl. soon. I informed her I most likely wouldn't even recognize my own high school at this point. City growth run-amuck.
Her: The only problem with Florida is I really can't swim.
Me: Really?! I've been able to swim like a fish since I was tiny.
Her: Really?! That's great!
Me: I remember my friends and I sneaking down to the beach at night, and swimming far out into the darkness. My parent's would have had an anxiety attack if they'd known that. Plus, I'd never do that now. It may be due to the fact that the older you get, the less invincible you feel. Also, why does it feel as if there's more to worry about in the ocean now? Maybe it's just my adult logic safety net kicking in.
Her: Did you ever have to deal with sea lice?
Me: WHAT?! NO HAHA?! I don't think I've actually even heard of such a thing. We had a jellyfish and stingray season...but no sea lice! Thank God! Why, is it common?
Her: Apparently. It can grow on seaweed.
Me: Lovely. That may have just proven my theory that there's more in there now.
* So being the geek I am...I of course HAD to look this up today. I'm warning you, the pics are less than pleasant...

Then there was Roy. Roy was a middle aged irish guy smiley/semi crude type that always had a joke to tell on a whim. He also knew random foreign catch phrases...and was highly fascinated by the fact that I could rattle off good morning through good night in Japanese(he even wrote Oyasuminasai down on a napkin. Oh Roy haha. Actually he seemed like a very endearing man. When he told me he was back in school and not to laugh at that...I quickly replied with, "Roy, you're NEVER too old to be in school. That's NEVER a bad thing." His grin momentarily took up the bulk of the room;) This for some reason brought to my mind the fact that I'd love to learn sign language, though I know no one whose deaf. I actually added it on my's only the alphabet, but what a cool and convenient addition! Roy was then sweet enough to buy Melinda's last drink as well as a martini for me known as the "French 75". Yummy.

*These were taken at McNulty's Bier Market on West 25th.

**On the way home I put in a random older mixed CD. Beautiful Life by Ace Of Base came on...It's funny how after a couple of drinks a simple old school catchy song can make you feel on top of the world. Mel and I had our own little auto dance club going on...I'm sure it was amusing to those passing by haha. However, simple moments of happiness like that with a best IS a "beautiful life".



So one of my closest friends Melinda and I are heading out tomorrow night, which my cabin feverish self totally needs!! I have been hibernatingly drowning in a choppy sea of canvas paper, watercolors, and blankets. Not that my isolated time hasn't resulted in the tale of a productive girl...however...JEN NEEDS SOCIAL INTERACTION AND FUN TIME!!!!!!!! This is where you'll find me with my partner in crime:

A vacant lot will become a winter wonderland on Leap Night February 29, 2008 from 6-11 p.m. The free event open to the public will be held at 1100 Old River Road (between Main Avenue and Front Street).

Leap Night will feature a snow and ice installation, a winter forest complete with costume bears, music, bonfires, performances by SAFMOD, Cleveland’s multi-media performance ensemble, an ice skating rink, a snowboard ramp and rail jam competition, an outdoor Rock BandTM video game competition, a snowsuit fashion show, and food and drink vendors. The site offers ample free parking and convenient access via the RTA Waterfront Line, East Bank Station.

Leap Night is part of Pop Up City, a temporary use initiative that is supported by the Cleveland Foundation’s Civic Innovation Lab and operated through Kent State University’s Cleveland Urban Design Collaborative. Sponsors and partners include: the WolsteinGroup/Flats East LLC, Boston Mills/Brandywine Ski Resorts, Red Bull Energy Drink, the Cleveland International Film Festival, MTV/Harmonix, and FORUM Architects.

Writer's Block: One Day to Live

What would you do if you had one day left to live?
I would make a list of all the people who are most important to me. Each person would have their own sheet of paper. I would tell each one exactly how I felt about them, list my most important memory and list anything I wanted them to have. I'd then attempt to see as many of them as I could in a favorite setting simultaneously. Oh, and I'd eat whatever I want. Drinking would be fun. However: A. It makes you forget. B. It makes time seem as if it's flying by. 2 def negatives on your last day. Bottom line: People and love are what life's about...without them, who cares.

There was a boy who met a girl

Once there was a boy who met a girl. The girl envisioned a white knight in couture armour, exotic jungles of origami, and an oversized sun faded chair. The boy envisioned signatures owned through the highest of bids, scientifically measured originated concoctions, and an oversized slightly scratched library to be heard and not read. One was the moon and one was the eclipsed while the other blinded until there was nothing left but a burned out pile of dead lunar rock to be sold at a flea market on the table next to the kitsch. Originally fictionized and nationalized giving The Duke and Dutchess of Windsor a heartstringed tug of war. Hands welded together at 2370 °F. Hearts with each beat bouncing off of the other having discussions and surfacing memories of tea parties they enjoyed as monogamists in past lives. Remember the china pattern chosen in 1805? How that seems like only yesterday. Finally warping poetic banter collided with unreachable depth into a one out of five stars comic strip. The girl externalizes, "You're still my home. I want to climb inside and polish you and redecorate you a bit until i've taken away the tarnished and the tacky". The boy internalizes, "It's still my home. I will only sell as is." Brick walls...child's play. A steel wall with reinforcements will suit the boy much better. The girl thinks, "If I cannot go through, I can at least soften it." She strikes and strikes and strikes realizing she's dented no surface...there is no change. The girl thinks, "If I cannot go through, and I cannot soften it...i'll climb to the top. The greatest of things can be accomplished there." She climbs and climbs and climbs realizing there is no end...there is no change. The girl thinks, "I cannot go through, I cannot soften it, I cannot climb up...maybe...just maybe I can go around. She walks and walks and walks realizing again there is no end...there is no change. Lastly, finding hidden persistence like Easter eggs she thinks, "I cannot go through, I cannot soften it, I cannot climb to the top, and I cannot even go around...but maybe...just maybe(gasp) I can write on the wall?" She takes her boldest colored Sharpie and begins a lyric. However, the surface is unaccepting...the words are ignored...there is no change. The girl thinks," I cannot go through, I cannot soften it, I can't climb to the top, I cannot go around, and I cannot even write on the wall. The only thing left is to walk away." As she leaves the wall she feels broken through, softened, stepped on, ignored, and marked up. As closeness dies and distance grows the girl becomes smaller and smaller leaving her with a screaming dream the boy will become larger and larger waging a war on the dissolution....She turns. Nothing. She hopes. Nothing. She waits. Nothing. Only white flags and effortless stillness is found...the girl continues to walk with the numbing effect of robotically pre-programmed feet until she is without warning wiped out from the boys site. Sundays bring on a new religion. Sundaes bring on a newly favored flavor...needed for restful bed-ins and caloric comforts. An undiscovered and unified lifetime of brilliance has been given up for a familiarized and privatized solace. There will be no china patterns picked out during this lifetime. Maybe the next? There was a boy who met a girl. End of story.

Paper hearts and Plastic souls.

With a surfacized polished and plastic shine
you invited me in.
with a stained glass stare
and a clear sky grin
so gentle and kind
to your publicized image and privatized mind.
you showed me the latest model
of your constructed bravado
made of metal and scraps and junk from your past
while sharing and wearing your crimson hued wine.
I was a muse for your poetry
an outlet for lyrics
a way to be heard when you wanted to share it
a sturdy new stage for your repetitive play
I'd never be offered a permanent stay.
a cast made of angels and actors
of fictions and factors
of glittered disasters and disfigured traits.
you're of beauty and brilliance
potential and skill
the God given gift of owning free will.
yet you're concretely broken
while so softly spoken
with a twisted told love of a solo filled fate.
a tall so small boy
made of fragile and frail
building sandcastles and moats
with his iron cast pail.
your night shade room black
and honey gold tongue
buzzing striped and stripped truisms
leaving me stung.
I could go on of feelings
of facts never told
of written love bought
which you've only sold.
of moments
of minutes
of hours
of days.


I'd never be offered a permanent stay.

Weaving the web of internet ideologies.

*Click click click
*Look look look
*Scroll scroll scroll

You've entered my soul

A touch
a voice
a tangible face
for pics and words are all I need
like a reality show
a tabloid series
a teen whose idol she knows she'll marry

We like that one movie
we drink that one beer
we read that one book

I've figured you out
you're exactly like me
I know you don't lie
I can tell by pic three

Truths made of tar
honesties of thin strips of paint
the cyber highways they roll over
until they're cracked
and faint

Lines of lines
define and refine
who they are
who they wish
who they claim or want to be

Diving into the sea we see
sticking onto the webs they weave
don't be so quick to be deceived


Martinis and meadows
Crayons converted to stained glass and vodka drenched watermelon slices
colored of permanent rose are new favored vices
Concerts under more stars less sky with notes intoxicating enough to favor me a faster drunk
Pure white stilettos put to pavement and paint brushes to paper until they're worn and torn and made of junk
Antiqued and rarified patterned Tazo filled tea cups mismatched with the greatest of ease
overflowing into discussions of hearts and diamonds while eating a concoction grilled with a fortunate mass quantity of moon surface cheese
I'm made of black ties and dive bars
party dresses and torn jeans
high maintenance low maintenance
up maintenance down maintenance
eclectically bred with sides that have no end
A personalized VIP invite by Barbie herself to spin vinyl on her player and myself around my lair
becoming dizzied on whirls and twirls and fancy spilled gin
Let us land by the lake with factory cake brilliantly placed atop a bed of quilts held by a cushion of green
I want butterfly kisses and a butterfly kite
bubbles of soap dishes and of champagne delight
Let me run with the brilliance and bask in its rays
tripping on summer's end where fire flies fade